It's Never Too Late: Letting Go of "Missed" Moments in Parenthood

As birth professionals, we often emphasize the Golden Hour—those first moments after birth that promote bonding, regulate baby’s temperature and breathing, and support breastfeeding. The science behind these early moments is undeniable. Skin-to-skin contact has been shown to stabilize newborn heart rates and even reduce maternal stress levels.

But here’s what we don’t always say enough: You are not defined by a single moment in time.

Too often, well-meaning conversations about birth and early bonding backfire, leaving parents feeling guilt or grief if things didn’t go as planned. And in those early postpartum days, an already vulnerable time, this pressure can feel overwhelming.

Moments That Matter—At Every Age

• Infancy: While early bonding is beneficial, attachment is built over time. Studies on attachment theory show that generally consistent, responsive caregiving—not just one moment—creates secure attachment.

• Toddlerhood: Play, laughter, and gentle reassurance build a deep sense of security. Positive touch, eye contact, and safe boundaries help regulate emotions and foster trust.

• Early Childhood: Small, everyday traditions—reading together, bedtime songs, lighting a candle during mealtimes—create lifelong emotional bonds. Studies suggest that family routines and rituals strengthen emotional resilience in children.

• "The Nine Year Change": Around this age, children experience a deep emotional shift. As they gain independence, they still crave connection. Showing loving patience, modeling positive behavior, and creating a sense of purpose will help your child learn that they are loved and valuable.

• Puberty & Adolescence: The brain undergoes another major rewiring during adolescence, making connection just as critical as in infancy. Strong parent-teen relationships are linked to lower rates of anxiety, depression, and risky behavior, as well as improved long-term health outcomes.

Yes, those early days are powerful. But connection isn’t a door that closes—it’s a relationship that grows. If you’re carrying guilt over a “missed” moment, let it go. Your care, presence, and love still create lasting physical and emotional benefits. Keep showing up. That’s what truly matters.